the Way of the Wicked

The Horn of Abbadon (part 4)
Grumblejack has an apotheosis. Still exploring...

We rejoin our party as they continue to intrepidly explore level 2 of the Horn of Abbadon. 

Finding a room full of wrecked statues they perceptively realise that there's one more head than the number of limbs and torsos would suggest. A rather paranoid conversation ensues about the possibility of encountering a medusa or similarly petrifiying foe, and considerable thought is given to who should be carrying the stone salve.

Some more rooms, leading off the rather grand atrium with its fountain, are explored without incident, until our villains reach the room at the northwest corner. Opening the door they see a room which clearly contains a hole to the outside, as it is rather full of vegetation. Fitch enters first to check for traps, and promptly falls asleep in the middle of the room. Adelea and Grumblejack instantly nod off too: this room contains two verdurous oozes, and the sleeping gas they exude has been wafted to them by the opening of the door. 

Luckily Sam is just outside the range of the effect, and has the presence of mind to throw a rope into the room while the oozes are still waking up to the presence of food nearby. Creel wakes Grumblejack who wakes Adelea, who pulls mightily on the rope that Sam has animated and ordered to wrap itself round Fitch's leg, and the woozy rogue is dragged free of the clutching vegetation and away from the deadly oozes. Creel's iron will lets him shrug off the sleepy gas and firmly shut the door, and after a brief but heartfelt conversation:

Sam “oozes are horrible, if we want to fight them we're going to have to strip”

Fitch “if there's holes to the outside here these things seem like perfect guardians”

Our villains decide to come back later to secure and indeed trap the door, so they can laugh at people trying to break in this way being killed by the oozes.

Moving on the party encounters a shrine to the loathed sun god, Mitra, which makes evil spells considerably harder to cast on this level. (Later, they come back and thoroughly desecrate it)

They also discover a headless statue, a very detailed statue, who they quickly realise is a) the owner of the spare head, and b) a once-living person who has been turned to stone. They debate using the stone salve:

“he could givve us valuable intel on the Horn”

“we're not ready for guests yet!”

They leave him in place.

There is a very fancy pillared chapel on this level, corresponding to the similar space on level 1. Thorough examination shows that the pillar on this level, corresponding to the hollow pillar below, is also hollow! However there's no secret door…

If that pillar is hollow and there's no door, and this pillar is hollow and there's no door, and we didn't find any doors in the caves… 




maybe there's… a… secret door?


There IS a secret door! It is very secret but they do eventually find it. The stairs they find wind up and up and up, through the pillars on level 1 and 2, and all the way into a secret section of level 3 contain the demons Hexor and Vexor, who politely inform the party “Good afternoon intruders, I'm terribly sorry but we'll have to disembowel you now”. However Sam forestalls this by stating they're here to free Vetra Kali.

The two demons approve of this plan, but are less than convinced that Sam and her party have the chops to pull it off. They therefore decide to refrain from disembowelling them for now, and to give Sam information in response to questions about what they can expect in the Sanctum upstairs. Unfortunately, on the axis between "helpful" and "amusing to two greater Ceustodaemons", the answers are skewed towards the latter.

The party climb towards the sanctum in the knowledge that there's a big green statue up there, and that it certainly has a lively atmosphere.

There is a big green statue up there. It has a big silver seal on it, radiating goodness. And there is a lively atmosphere too, in the form of a greater lightning elemental that leaps to the attack! After the first flurry of zappy smashy blows however, Creel is able to increase the party's resistance to energy (although not to being smashed). The elemental is somewhat resistant to being hit with a sword, too – but not nearly resistant enough, as a hasted Adelea chops it into bits.

The party bottle some of the blood, and dunk the eye in some more of the blood to activate it. The portable foe-butchering-station cart thing they had been talking about earlier does actually seem like a decent idea at this point.

Grumblejack has been complaining of dizziness and unquenchable thirst since entering the Sanctum. The villains eventually hit on the idea of putting some water in the reservoir of the statue, where it instantly turns to unholy water. This quenches GJ's thirst, and also reveals his half-fiend heritage. Grumblejack can fly now! Who saw that coming? (Well, me. I've got the book).

The Horn of Abbadon (part 3)
Is it still dungeon crawling if you're going upwards?

Adelea suggests Fitch should be the one who talks to Zikomo (as he will inevitably cause an incident and she will get to straight up murder some frog fools). However wiser heads prevail and Sam's policy of FITCH DOES NOT TALK TO ANYBODY is maintained.

The mad boggard oracle's eyes snap open, and in a strained, high pitched voice ("do the voice! do the voice") he screeches "A shadow of regret and despair awaits! a shadow of death! death in the shadow". Then his eyes snap shut again.

Samra'el shakes him gently and he starts awake "Drylander? how can I help you?" There follows a conversation where both sides are attempting to mislead and then eventually betray the other. Sam's mislead-and-betrayal-fu is much stronger though, and by the end of their little chat:

Zikomo is convinved they are on the same side (hmmm), that our villains are working to dedicate this spire to Dagon (hah!) and that Sam doesn't intend to use the boggards as cannon fodder (hmmm again, although in fairness Adelea probably isn't going to let them fight any cool stuff on their own as she'll want a go). He confirms that as the sole leader of the tribe now  that "that idiot failure is dead and not making stupid decisions any more" he will use his influence to get the boggards working to support the party's aims.

Sam on the other hand is fully aware that Zikomo can only be trusted so far, and that his intentions are for the spire to become a centre for Dagon worship with him firmly in charge. It is clear he will work with them for now, but if the place looks like it will end up as a Vetra Kali shrine again he's likely to betray them in the end. 

Zikomo can muster 14 bane-wog tribesfrog warriors at this time but states that with Kumanda out of the way he will send runners through the swamps to enlist more. (This is likely to draw 0-2 boggards per week, and the caves would be able to support up to 32 fighters).  The party may need to make an example of one or two to make the rest actually do their assigned tasks, however. The boggards are naturally lazy rather than militaristic, and Zikomo spends a lot of the time in drug fueled trances so can't ride herd on them.

It is time to start exploring the Horn proper. A relatively straightforward set of stairs leads to the first level. Adelea charges down the first corridor past the arrow slits with the rest of the party close behind, except for Creel who is looking on sardonically while holding himself in reserve. Nobody shoots them, and Adelea successfully discovers there are no traps by blundering through the areas they might have been in. It's going well!

This level appears to have been abandoned since the cult was brutally suppressed by Markadian 1 eighty years ago. The party explores thoroughly finding room after abandoned room full of smashed and mouldering furnishings and litle else. There are some highlights though:

In a ransacked alchemy lab they find Artephius the alchemical golem, and the instruction manual. He has been thoroughly decommissioned by the knights of Mitra, but is potentially repairable given Fitch's skill at alchemy. They work out that the shattered eye can be repaired with a make whole spell, and find a new reservoir in the ruins of the lab.

1. The Eye – Artephius even if activated would be
blind. Its single glass lens has been shattered.

2. The Brain – Artephius needs a new human,
dwarven, elven, half-orc or half-elven brain. No
other race will do – they are not the right size and
attunement. It need not be from a living person. Someone who died in the last twenty four
hours from natural causes will do. Of course,
murder is always an option. Finding a brain
will likely not be a problem for our band of villains. The difficulty is installing it. A successful
Craf (Alchemy) skill check (DC 20) is required
to install the brain. You get two chances to a
make this roll. If both of them fail, the brain has
died and a new one must be sought.

3. The Heart Cog – Artephius’ mithral heart cog
was stolen long ago, likely by one of the Victor’s retainers. Without this critical component,
Artephius will not activate. A new cog will
have to be made. Fortunately, the exact shape
is described in the schematics. 500 gp worth of
mithral will suffice to make the heart cog. A
smith in Farholde would do the delicate work
for 10% of the mithral’s value (50 gp). Regardless, a Craft (smith) skill check (DC 20) is required.

4. The Reservoir – Artephius needs a new glass
reservoir where the four primal reagents can
mingle and power the golem. 

5. The Reagent of Fire – Artephius needs ten doses
of alchemist’s fre.

6. The Reagent of Ice – Artephius needs ten doses
of alchemist’s ice (sometimes also called liquid

7. The Reagent of Acid – Artephius needs ten doses of a potent acid. 

8. The Reagent of Electricity – Artephius needs
a large supply of lightning elemental blood.

Once all the components have been assembled and the
golem is repaired, Artephius will come to life by simply
activating his heart pump.

In the remains of the Sons of Abbadon's former trophy room (the trophies themselves long gone) our villains find a delicate ring on the plaque for Iris of Ghastenhall. This unimpressive piece of jewelry, clearly intended for a very small fnger, has a tiny inscription ‘IoG’ beside an ornate rose.

They also, by manipulating the plaque for Ergun Nigma, find a hidden safe. Sam kicks herself for missing the E. Nigma clue, but also curses the deceased Sons for their clunky sense of humour.

An elaborate pillared throne room – Sam: “that can be my room. You've got an alchemy lab, Creel has a torture chamber, Adelea has a house full of frogs. I get a throne.” 

They find fountain and decide to come back tomorrow and detect poison at it. Adelea grumps by the door because the party aren't exploring in order. “As soon as something shiny appears they all run off!”

There is about ten minutes of heated discussion as to whether the area with the fountain constitutes a separate room as a corridor runs into it or is part of the same large room they were exploring. (It is clearly the same room).

A densely written journal is found in one of the rooms.

The party encounter a chimney and spend a frankly unconscionable amount of time attempting to climb up it. Fitch takes eight attempts at what is a simple climb. At one point Creel and then Adelea also get into the chimney and also fail to climb it. Eventually Fitch makes it up the chimney and finds a grate leading to the outside that conceivably could be removed. A good climber might be able to enter the spire this way although it would be a relatively long and difficult climb up the Horn.

Sam reads the journal while the Spire of Abbadon Inept Climbing Society Annual General Meeting is underway in the chimney. She discovers three interesting things in the very boring book:

One of the acolytes, Brother Zander Trask, kept a journal. The journal is frankly rather dull and poorly written.
Trask was no great thinker and mostly it is a repetitive
and boring record of the day to day drudgery of being a
lowly acolyte of the temple.

  1. Trask believed there to be something unusual about
    the south eastern pillar in the lower temple (room 1-27).
    He suspected it was hollow and had a secret door into it.

    2. Trask knew by rumor that two powerful daemons
    named Hexor and Vexor guarded the upper levels. He
    didn’t know precisely where they were stationed, but he
    desperately wanted to get a look at them some day.

    3. Trask had seen a priest (who thought no one was
    present) sit upon the throne and mysteriously vanish. He
    didn’t know where the priest went but thought it very interesting.

"“Hmm, maybe 'Yah' teleports you TO the throne and you need another word to go somewhere else. I dont think we can just sit there and shout syllables though"

A room with a faint magical aura appears to have preserved the body of a minotaur, pinned to the floor by a spear, as though it was only recently dead. Adelea surmises this might be a magical room for keeping things fresh. It is decided it would be a good idea to speak with dead with the minotaur, the closest thing to a survivor the party have encountered, but Sam thinks it would be better to explore some more so they know which questions to ask.

After a night's rest Creel casts detect poison. The fountain appears to be safe to drink; Sam tries some water and doesn't immediately die. Creel also casts "make whole" on the golem eye. 

This floor now fully explored (or is it) they prepare to explore the second level. 

Having had a prophetic warning from an oracle about some sort of deadly shadow the party have cunningly wasted no brainpower in wondering what this vision of the future might have shown the drug-crazed frog man. Taking no special precautions whatsoever they push on into the second floor of the Horn.

The Horn of Abbadon (part 2)

Before venturing into the caverns beneath the Horn of Abbaddon the party spends some more time talking with Jurak the Elder. He tells them he had tried to impede the Sons of the Pale Horseman for years, but the cult had simply been too strong to attack. When Markadian 1, the Victor, had attacked the spire Jurak had hastened to join the fight, but had arrived too late. Noting how upset he was at this, Markadian had restored his sense of purpose by telling him he had a sacred charge to ensure the spire was protected from once again falling to evil.

In the 80 years since that day it has been a lonely struggle for the treant. He does have one ally, the dryad Calliaste, who he rarely sees as she loves the truly wild places and lives many miles away, but communicates with through the plants at least once a week. As Jurak waxes lyrical about the "dryad" and her band of devoted, artistic, followers, Sam's knowledge of the planes makes her increasingly certain this is actually a Lillend. Sort of like a muse, but scarier.

The party explore the caverns. Was that a flicker of movement in the distance? There's nothing there now.

Encountering a pool of clear water Adelea loses a dagger finding out it's actually acid. Continuing on they come to a narrow squeeze; Grumblejack is extremely unhappy with the idea of not being big any more. He likes being this size! It's a good size. He doesn't want to be little! Bigger would mean he would hit his head on the ceiling so he would much prefer not to change size thank you. Sam agrees for now that he can remain on the same scale, as there are other tunnels that can be explored before they'll need to go through the squeeze.

Our villains are soon ambushed by boggards! Their terrifying croaks scare Adelea and Fitch into running for their lives, with Fitch making it all the way to a mud pool and scalding his wee legs in the boiling mud. The tribe's leader, Kumanda Slays-Nine-Men, had the potential to be quite a dangerous foe, but utterly fails to lay a finger, or more importantly a two handed sword, on the party. However two of the boggards do manage to lay a couple of spears on Sam, who is disconcerted and annoyed as until now she's never been so much as scratched.

With Kumanda in serious trouble another boggard hoves into view, and joins the fight – on our villains' side! He's the tribe's oracle, Zikomo Hears-the-Father, a Dagon-worshipping lunatic, and his dreams have told him it's high time he was in sole charge of the tribe and an end was put to Kumanda's inept leadership. It's time for a bit of light treason. 

His show-stopper move, bringing the terrible chill of outer space to Kumanda's body, disappointingly fails to kill him due to his ridiculous fortitude and his barbarian resistance to all magic. However it does serve to persuade the party that Zikomo is the enemy of their enemy and thus worth temporarily not murdering.

Adelea, freshly returned from fleeing from a loud croak like a scared little girl, and perhaps overcompensating, brutally overkills Kumanda with a vicious blow of her greatsword. 

Zikomo barks something in the boggard language, and the two remaining boggards of the ambush party prostrate themselves before the party. He says, in serviceable common, that his dreams showed him they would come, to help dedicate the spire to Dagon! (Sam cheerfully agrees that yep, Dagon, absolutely). Zikomo is then helped back to his temple by one of the two boggards, his dream juice having worn off. The other shows the villains around the caverns, using mime and gestures. However Adelea, having killed Kumanda, inherits his hut and his stuff, and his consorts. Luckily the stuff includes a helm that lets the party understand boggard language (and a boggard understand theirs) so they are able to explain to the consorts that boggards aren't really their bag, and that they should go consort with Zikomo now. 

Zikomo, in a magical trance, tells them

“The cave of the blue
slime conceals your future. Learn its secret or fail at
ye master’s charge.”

then starts leaping around the room cackling and screaming as his fire changes colour to blue in response to his frenzied prayers.

Our villains are puzzled by the blue slime room. It is a room with a vibrant glowing blue slime mold on the western wall. Quite pretty but not magical or dangerous. They try poking it a bit. Careful checks of the room turn up nothing.

However, extending her senses, Sam detects a magical item past the south wall of the cavern. Further checks, now they know something should be there, find a very narrow tunnel, only passable by something tiny (or gaseous, or incorporeal).

They appear to be stumped. Adelea eats some blue slime to see if it shrinks her. It tastes horrible and does nothing, but at least nothing poisonous. Perhaps they'll need to go back to town for some potions of gaseous form?

Never underestimate the power of brute force solutions. A couple of days' repeated use of Stone Shape gets enough stone to flow out of the way that the tunnel is passable for a small creature, and a quick spell from Sam turns Fitch into a small creature and he makes his way through the tunnel into a small cave.

When the end came for the Sons of the Pale Horseman, it came quickly. Certainly the cultist Rinehart Kappelbrenner was caught unprepared. As his brethren
charged towards the futile fight with the King and his
knights, Rinehart instead ran. He knew the fight could
not be won. He had already seen the daemon prince
Vetra-Kali slain by King Markadian. He knew he was
doomed. But always a clever lad, Rinehart had a plan.
He grabbed two potions of gaseous form, a small pack
containing personal effects, food and water and one of
the emerald eyes of Vetra-Kali. The jewel he obtained
was the Eye of Vigilance and it functions as a crystal ball
that could see anywhere within the confines of the Horn.
His plan was to drink a potion of gaseous form, retreat to
a small chamber in the lower caverns he had discovered
years ago, and there wait out this slaughter. After the invaders were gone then he could escape and unite with other survivors…if there were any. When he returned
the Eye of Vigilance to the priesthood he had no doubt
they would hail him as a hero of the order.
It was a magnificent plan and at first, it seemed to be
working flawlessly. Rinehart escaped to the lower caverns, drank the potion and made it into the concealed
cavern. He reverted to solid form and used the Eye to
survey the destruction wrought upon the Horn. It was
then he noticed a terrible flaw in his plan. One of the potions of gaseous form had been smashed. Its contents had
leaked out and the potion was ruined. He was trapped in
this tiny chamber. He tried slipping through the gap and
even resorted to shouting hoping a comrade would hear
him. After a day of futile effort he knew he was doomed.
He lasted for weeks. Water dripped into the cave and
he had a small store of food. He even had illumination
via the cantrip light. His pack contained a prized holy
book “The Dirges of Apollyon” and ink and quill.
He observed everything that was done by the Victor.
He saw the Seal made and in that moment Rinehart Kappelbrenner had a dreadful epiphany. Some might say a
vision this powerful and this terrible must have come directly from the Pale Horseman himself. Or perhaps it
was simply a moment of genius by one of the most humble servants of this wicked temple. Whatever the reason,
Rinehart knew what must be done to call forth his master
back to the prime material plane.
Te seal was not perfect. There was a way to break it.
And he knew how. On the back pages of the “Dirges” he
recorded his ritual. And then cackling madly to himself
in smug satisfaction, he committed his soul into the arms
of death and took his own life.
Today, a lime encrusted human skeleton leans against
the south wall clutching a heavy leather bound book.
Tis is perhaps the last surviving copy of “Te Dirges
of Apollyon” upon this mortal plane. It details the long
history of the “Sons of the Pale Horseman” and recounts
their efforts to transform this world into a daemon’s playground. This rarest of tomes is made utterly unique by
the last page of text within. Tis book makes plain the
ritual necessary to call Vetra-Kali back to the mortal
realms (the ritual is detailed below). And besides that,
still glittering amongst the muck, is the First Eye of Vetra Kali – The Eye of Vigilance.

At the moment however, despite its description in the book and despite showing up in detect magic with a strong divination aura,  the Eye is inert. It's just a great big emerald.

Having solved the secret of the blue slime (or have they?) the party decide it's time for some forestry. They buff up before coming out of the caves carrying Kumanda's head. Having already decided they were allies Jurak suspects nothing until Sam and Creel cast the last couple of buff spells and the villains set about him like a crew of amphetamine-crazed lumberjacks who just heard they lost the tree-murdering world record and are determined to get it back. Jurak falls to a well-placed dagger from Fitch before taking a single action of his own.

Sam plants Father Donnagin's silver amulet of Mithra near the corpse. Never a bad time to frame your enemies…

The Horn of Abbadon
Farholde - and finding the Horn

Tiadora escorts our villains to Farholde, on the other side of Talingarde, in a rather slow and wallowing barge. She has claimed the only cabin, with the captain and small crew sleeping outside on deck with the party.

Every night they anchor within sight of a village or keep, moving off in the morning. Eventually Samra'el asks Tiadora what she is up to: "I am reminding the poor souls of Talingarde what
hell is like. Do you have a problem with that?"

-Can we come?

"It is a task for me alone"

-OK, have fun!

Adelea is training hard during the voyage, doing maniacal amounts of press ups and jumping jacks, running on the oars, lifting heavy things, and making sure to get a balanced, high protein diet. By the end of the 12 day voyage she seems even fitter and healthier than at the start.

Sam is mostly occupied crafting magical items. Creel spends a lot of time communing with his god, and also some communing with his rather evil stone mace. Fitch mostly mooches, but intersperses this with some moping for variety's sake.

After 12 days Tiadora invites them into the barge's cabin to talk with Cardinal Thorn. “The master is here and commands you attend him,”

He greets his knot and is quickly to business: “You have served me faithfully, my ninth knot, and I have rewarded you both in treasure and vengeance. Thanks to your efforts, the Fire-Axe has been unleashed. Even now he writes his name in blood across the Borderlands. Three battles have been fought and three victories won. Te villages of Ambryl and Tarrington Fields lie sacked.
The fortress of Lorringsgate is in ruins. Each of you did your part in seeing these triumphs come to fruition. Do not think I have forgotten that.

“But our work is not yet done. Talingarde has not yet acquiesced to our unholy master nor tasted the full measure of our vengeance. So I have another mission for you. Tomorrow this barge will dock in Farholde, the northernmost town in all the realm. Farholde is a backwater of no real signifcance. Its lord has already lef the place hoping for glory in the war. But it does border the Caer Bryr (pronounced care-briar), the largest unmapped forest on the entire island.

“Hidden within the Caer Bryr is the Horn of Abaddon, an ancient temple once occupied by a particularly loathesome death cult called ‘The Sons of the Pale Horseman’. Almost eighty years ago the first Darian king, Markadian I called the Victorious overthrew the Horn and destroyed the Sons. No great loss, honestly. But what the Victor found within the temple is why we
are here. He defeated a daemon prince called Vetra-Kali Eats-the-Eyes. So terrifed of this monstrosity was the king, that he had the priests of Mitra craf a great silver seal to forever forbid the daemon from returning to our plane ofexistence. The seal remains to this day.

“I have learned the truth about this daemon prince. I have learned what the Victor feared. Vetra-Kali is an archdeacon in service to the lord of pestilence. This immortal monster could create a plague so virulent that it will bring Talingarde to its knees. When the Victor attacked, the Daemon Prince was close to unleashing his masterpiece upon the world — a pestilence known as the Tears of Achlys (pronounced ACKLis). I am uncertain of the specifcs of this plague but if
anything could terror in the heart of the Victor, then I want it. The Tears of Achlys will be our poisoned dagger into the heart of Talingarde.

“I already have agents in the great cities of this kingdom. With this pestilence, they could deliver blight and death to the very center of the realm. Caught between the twin storms of the Fire-Axe and Vetra-Kali’s gif, we shall bring ruin to Talingarde. This gift you shall bring to me. It will not be easy. I have already lost one band of followers on this errand. I sent the fourth knot to fnd the
Horn of Abaddon. They succeeded at that at least – revealing to me that it was concealed within a great spire of stone less than a day’s ride from Farholde. But then they vanished. I have heard no more from the elven ranger Aiden Kael since. He knew the Caer Bryr well so no normal hazard would defeat him. Perhaps the Horn of Abaddon is guarded. I cannot say. But it matters not!

The Tears of Achlys must be mine!

"I am undeterred by this setback. Where one knot failed, two will succeed. I will also send my seventh knot– the Knot Hibernal led by Elise Zadaria. I task you with finding the Horn and calling forth Vetra-Kali. Elise and her knot will aid you. Elise proved herself a capable assassin in our last venture. The seventh knot will remain in Farholde and see that anyone who tries to fnd the Horn
and interfere with your work meets an unhappy end. Thus, you will have time to do what must be done.

“There is another who may be able to aid you. Once a thriving cult of Asmodeus existed in Farholde. It was led by a half-elvish noble – the Baron Arkov Vandermir. He is
treacherous and decadent, but wealthy and well-connected. Tiadora will introduce you before she departs. I know not what aid the Baron can provide, but his family is old and long has dwelt in Farholde. Never trust him but know this – he’s afraid of me and with good reason.
If he does try anything remind him that you are in Farholde on my behalf. Tat should keep him in line.

“Find the Horn. Find the seal and shatter it. Call
Vetra-Kali back to our world. Bind him to your will and
force service from the monster. And then bring his gif to
me. Can you do this, my knot? Have I found servants with
might and will enough to see this task done?”


-Piece of Cake!

-Of course, my lord.

- Find creepy temple, break seal, release demon, get him to give us plague.

After some perceptive questions from Zachariah Creel the party are dismissed from Thorn's presence.


Soon the barge arrives in Farholde. Tiadora has arranged dinner with the Baron the following evening and instructs the villains to purchase some finery. They spread out and do some exploring and shopping – and rumour mongering.

Did you hear about the elf staying at the Wandering
Friar Inn that disappeared now three weeks back? Went
into the Briar and weren’t never seen again!


The following day they have a look round the town, pick up their finery, and do a bit more shopping. Sam also crafts a handy haversack for Fitch, but for some reason the magic is a bit glitchy. Possibly this is due to random eddies in the magical currents in the area, or the mingled conflicting influences of the Temple of Mitra and the nearby Horn of Abbadon. Possibly it's psychological, caused by throttled frustration at Fitch having completely failed to pay attention when she clearly and straightforwardly laid out all the useful magical things she could make. Perhaps the Gods are just having a bit of a laugh. Whatever the reason, the haversack works perfectly and is comfortable to wear, but changes colour depending on Fitch's moods.

Mood: confused and slightly put off by unexpected colour-changing-icity of satchel.

Jumping slightly ahead of the plot, the party also locate Aiden Kael's abandoned hotel room. The innkeeper is very pleased to let them search it in return for paying his 25GP outstanding bill. They find a map pointing straight to Abbadon's Horn! Handy stuff.

They also do some more rumour mongering.

Did you hear about the elf staying at the Wandering
Friar Inn that disappeared now three weeks back? Went
into the Briar and weren’t never seen again!

The Caer Bryr is full of living trees — everyone
knows that, but its rare to see them so far north. Still,
I’ve heard tell that one dwells not a day’s ride from this
very tavern!

Sam racks her brains for knowledge about these denizens of the forest.

“Treants – OK they're good, so they're going to want to kill us….”

The dinner party goes swimmingly. The Baron was initially very skeptical about helping our villains, assuming they would simply attract the attention of the inquisitors. However Sam's oratory wins him over, helped by Creel deliberately letting the Baron see his unholy symbol of Asmodeus while bowing to him at the start of the meal. The Baron has a great deal of power in Farholde, and should make a useful ally.

We sit here at the dawn of a new age, an age where the self righteous Mitrans no longer rule. It's already started.

You don't need to fear the pyre, nothing you do will be traced back to you.

Asmodeus will rule. The bugbears are united and a match for the Mitran forces.

And as for the Mitrans we are here to see to them. I am sure you wish them gone as much as we do.

The following day sees the arrival of Elise Zakaria and her Hibernal Knot. But before that – some last minute shopping, and some rumour mongering:

 Did you hear about the elf staying at the Wandering
Friar Inn that disappeared now three weeks back? Went
into the Briar and weren’t never seen again!

Elise is doing her best to put a falsely friendly face forward, but Fitch's finely-tuned senses can feel she's faking. He can tell she's quietly livid to be in a subordinate role, and he lets the party know this with surprising subtlety for Fitch.

Elise and her Knot will run interference here in Farholde, putting a stop to as many adventurers as she can and warning the party about any she can't. She explains her plan to create a fake serial killer and bathe Farholde in blood. Samra'el says “seems reasonable. Don't piss off the Baron, that's an order”. Sam appears to be enjoying the chance to rub Elise's nose in her current junior status.

Following the map into the exotically beautiful but also remarkably dangerous Caer Bryr our villains find the Horn within two days, but are intercepted by a treant, Jurak the Elder, who warns them of the Horn's dangerous nature. Sam is easily able to provide the giant simple-minded wooden buffoon that the party are heroes, who would be happy to help cleanse the spire of evil. The tree man idiot is very pleased to hear this, as there are a tribe of frog people in the lower levels of the spire he's not remotely happy about…

Bring Down Balentyne! part 4
Schedule of slaughter

The party disguise themselves as Donnagin and the guards and ride hell for leather towards the tower, abandon the horses once they're out of sight, sneak unseen through the woods towards the path to the clearing, come out of the woods disguised as themselves looking puzzled, and start asking people if they know why Donnagin headed out of there so quickly.

Day 16 – Sam starts crafting a belt of strength

Creel sacrifices a big pile o' stuff to his god in thanks for making his mace more good-people-killingy.

Day 17 – Sam continues crafting a belt of strength

Fitch is gently persuaded not to talk to anyone. He spies on the fort, finding it to be closed up and guarded.

Day 18 – the villans infiltrate the tower to kill the mage (disguised as generic guards)

“Hold fast to courage, faith and fellowship and this tower shall never fall.” says the inscription on the statue of Markadian I, the Victor, which they pass on their way. (“Not fast enough” mutters Fitch)

Guards outside the mage's door notice these “guards” are not members of the garrison, but they are quickly silenced and cut down. Fitch leaps over one acrobatically and murders him from behind, the other is cut clean in half with a mighty swing of Adelea's sword.

Fitch unlocks the door to the mage's room while the silence lasts. The party buffs up and charges in. Tacitus is caught by surprise but somehow gets a wild slap in as Adelea runs past. Her ear is slightly stingy. She looks hard at him and says “you shouldn't have done that”.

Sam casts boredom but Tacitus's will is too strong.

The mage screams “help me, help me! Crush the intruders!”

An ice golem smashes through the door into the room and tries to smash Creel! This is a disquieting turn of events. Further disquieting to the party are muffled shouts that suggest guards above and below have heard sounds of a struggle and are coming to investigate.

Creel caves in the mage's skull with Gada Topang.

Sam gives a hurried but informative speech about the ice golem then zaps it with a scorching ray! Her first ever offensive spell is highly effective.

The golem takes heavy damage, then a tiny bit of extra damage from Fitch, shattering into a storm of icy fragments. Creel and Adelea take damage from this but successfully weather the ice storm.

Guards from the floors above and below come running, finding a locked door and two dead guards covered in ice shards (thrown by Creel just as Sam locked the door). A muffled voice shouts “stay back! I must get this experiment under control!”

The guards hammer on the door as the party, featherfalled, steps out of the window, floats down like particularly murderous gossamer, and then gleefully sneaks out via the tunnel, leaving a dead mage and a shattered golem in a locked room.

Day 19 – Stew day!

They successfully persuade Mama Guiseppe to include mushrooms in the stew, and successfully bluff her that “Susan” is an expert forager and the mushrooms are thus entirely safe. “Ruprecht”, their idiot brother, helps to stir (and slips arsenic into the stew when Mama Guiseppe is distracted).

This goes perfectly. Over the next 24 hours the combined effects of arsenic and mushrooms kills 12 men and sickens 30 more so badly they are utterly unfit for duty.

Day 20.

Sam has finished the belt. Fitch's arms are still like noodles – but stronger noodles!

They sneak in once again by the tunnel, this time with Grumblejack in tow, murder their way up the tower, and set fire to the arrow store.

Then they murder their way up the keep to Havelyn's room. Forewarned, he has buffed up and is a fairly terrifying opponent, especially after casting smite evil on Adelea. He also has more willpower than the famous Wilful Willy McWillpower, Wily Wazir of Will Saves, and shrugs off Sam's boredom spell with little effort. Adelea does savage amounts of damage to him, and he misses with his two power attacks in round one, but he connects twice in the next round and leaves her bleeding out on the floor.

Luckily Grumblejack smashes him to death with a mighty blow of his club, and Adelea is soon stablised and returned to health. As soon as she touches Havelyn's +1 Champion's Plate the shining steel darkens to black, with baroque engravings of evil deeds. She discovers, despite being considerably shorter than Havelyn and indeed a different sex, that this suit of +1 dastard's plate now fits her perfectly.

The entire leadership cadre of Tower Balentyne is now dead (or sent away in disgrace) and many of the guards and dead or poisoned. The few demoralised and leaderless grunts left stand little chance against the purposeful and relatively skilled villains, who have the advantage of their circlets letting them get the drop on confused defenders.

They slaughter their way to the gatehouse, and none can stand against them. They disable the war machines and murder holes, winch up the gate and let down the drawbridge, fortifying themselves against any attempt to take the gatehouse back. The invading army of bugbears, summoned by the signal rocket, encounter very little resistance – although some are killed by the lantern archons, which the party never encountered, and some find it quite time consuming and annoying to kill a bunch of acolytes who are healing each other.

Balentyne has fallen. The villains have achieved the impossible. The bugbears pour through the watchtower and slaughter the inhabitants of Aldencross. Soon they will march on the Southlands.

The party crack the seal they were given previously, and Tiadora soon appears and leads them to a waiting boat.


From a promontory, you can see the great bugbear horde
camped south of the Watch Wall. Balentyne yet burns behind you. Tiadora remarks, “I have seen no evidence of any army gathering to meet the horde. It seems Zadaria
has also succeeded at her mission and has assassinated the
commanders. Truly, a great achievement.
“Making matters worse for poor Talingarde, small bands
of creatures unaligned with Sakkarot approach the breach,
eager to take advantage of the chaos. How could these
beasts know already about this break in the Watch Wall?
Someone must have told them. Probably best to leave. This
region is about to become very dangerous.
“Still, this will not be enough. Balentyne may be broken but Talingarde is yet strong. Soon word will reach the south. The Heartland and the great cities of the Cambrian
Bay will marshal their armies. They will meet Sakkarot on
the feld and it will be far too close to a fair fight. We must
do something about that. “Come, my lords, your ship awaits. Try not to burn this

Lords. She called you lords. And lords you are. Lords
of death and destruction. Lords of evil. Do you remember Branderscar? Do you remember being held down and branded like animals? How far you have come and how
long yet the journey before you. Tiadora is right. This is only your first steps along the way of the wicked.





Bring down Balentyne! part 3
Itinerary of Death


Day 10

There is some discussion as to whether to rob the wizard while he's at the play. However the party decide he's probably got his fireball wand with him so they'll sneak in closer to B-Day to kill him

There follows some kibbitzing about Fitch's diplomatic skills. He claims it is not his fault he has problems interacting with these hicks and yokels.


They enter the tower from the tunnel, disguised as guards, and make their way through an empty tower to the Rookery, with the muffled sounds of the play occasionally heard from the direction of the Great Hall. Sam pretends to have a message to be sent. Martin opens the door. There is grumbling. Then a surprise attack!

Martin is killed in short order, and Sam attaches a suicide note to him and chucks him off the tower. There is considerable bird murdering. The trained ravens will take months to replace, and, while they don't know it, the denizens of Balentyne and the nearby town have less than three weeks. No reinforcements will be available when the Bugbears attack, and any news will have to reach other garrisons on foot or horseback via whatever terrified refugees escape the slaughter. Response will be slow and muddled.

On the way out the villains ransack the captains' quarters.

They check Barhold's room and find nothing of value. Varning's too, and Motts. In Eddarly's room they find explicit love letters between him and Kaitlyn Mott!

Day 11

Sam disguises herself as an urchin and delivers the love notes to Mott. He pales, puts a hand on a table to steady himself, turns on his heel and marches off with steely purpose.

“Robin” and “Robert” and “Susan” introduce themselves to Mama Guiseppe and make firm friends. She cooks them a lovely dinner. Aww.

Day 12

Mott killed Eddarly in a duel! The rumours are all over town. Mott's been clapped in irons!

The villains blackmail Bellam Barhold into writing a note to his brother – and then surprise murder him, and stuff his body in a tunnel!

Sam successfully disguises herself and “Bellam Barhold” is seen walking out of town looking troubled “just going for some fresh air”

The party (sans Fitch) have a dry run with the stew, and it goes very well. Creel's attempt to raise a round of applause fails horribly with one guard clapping briefly then looking horribly embarrassed. However Sam raises a cheer for her and the old lady blushes but is secretly pleased. “Robin” agrees to help her with the shopping for next week, and Mama Guiseppe will be very happy to have her new friends accompany her.

Fitch tries to deliver the note but forgets Barhold's name then says it's for the commander, no wait the captain. -Which captain? “Errrrr eeeegghmmmmmmmmrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr”

The guard chases him away with a club.

Later Adelea apologises for her idiot brother (“we thought we could at least trust him with a note but clearly we were wrong”) and successfully hands the note to a guard to deliver to Captain Barhold.

Day 13

Barhold shows up to speak to his “brother” who draws a sword! Iron Sam Barhold reacts quickly and sunders Adelea's sword with a mighty swing of his greatsword. Adelea started the fight with 300 gold pieces worth of masterwork longsword, and is now holding about 5 silver's worth of hilt.

Creel firebolts Barhold and Fitch stabs him, but he's called Iron Sam for a reason, and he's nowhere close to going down. However Barhold is suddenly too bored to throw a tanglefoot bag at Fitch, or indeed do owt else. Zach Creel hits him with a mace, channeling the power of his god.

With her sword broken, Adelea draws her dagger and does a spectacularly effective strike through a chink in his armour and into one of his kidneys, as he twists to take Creel's hit.

Fitch hits effectively with both daggers, and then Creel finishes the captain with a savage blow of Gada Topang. The black lightning of his god's evil power crawls over the captain's slightly smoking body, as the blood seems to sink into the stone heads of the mace. At the edge of perception Creel seems to hear a very large, very distant, very satisfied chuckle.

All 4 captains are now dealt with. Mad Martin is dead. Eisenbauch and his dwarfs are sent home in disgrace. There are still 94 soldiers, Father Donnagin, the wizard, the Lord Commander, and who knows what else to deal with.

Day 15

Father Donnagin has been investigating the disappearance of the Barhold Brothers, and his investigations have reached the villains. Accompanied by three guards, he questions them about recent events. He is initially unconvinced by Adelea's protestations that she had not read the note, and she sheepishly admits that she had in fact peeked at it. Sam smoothly steps in, and manages to succesfully bluff the suspicious and perceptive priest.

Sorry, we don't have any idea why the innkeep disappeared. We last saw him heading towards the woods (previous testimony from other witnesseses backs this up). No, we have no idea why he was headed for the woods the day before he asked his brother to meet him there. We'd be happy to come and help you search the area around this clearing – more hands and more eyes to search should be helpful don't you think?


Father Donnagin is perceptive. Father Donnagin is suspicious. Father Donnagin comes achingly close to seeing through the bluff. Father Donnagin invites the villains to join him and help search the clearing, and turns his back on them to peer around for clues.

This was not a good decision on his part.

Creel smashes the priest with the power of his god (also a mace). It is super effective.

Donnagin casts heat metal on Adelea's sword but she holds on as her hands sizzle. Donnagin goes down under a hail of blows, with Adelea's final blow cutting one of his arms clean off. One of the guards turns to flee for help, but for some reason gets bored with the whole idea before he gets very far.

The Deadly Clearing of Death™ has claimed another important victim. Without Donnagin's steadying influence, and relying only on his five acolytes for healing magic, the tower's defences will be noticeably weaker.

Creel's eyes roll up into his head and he drops in a dead faint. The villains see a black aura form around Gada Topang, clutched in Creel's white knuckled grasp, as the blood of the priest of Mitra once again seems to sink into the stone.

Creel comes to on a vast plateau, made of strangely ridged red stone. He looks about him a little wildly and sees a pair of vast glowing yellow eyes looking down at him, and has the sudden dizzying realisation that he is standing on an enormous hand. He is in the presence of his God, Asmodeus!

An enormous voice, almost too loud to bear, echoes out over the 'plateau'. “You have done well, little priest. You have used my power to strike down a powerful servant of that simpering milktoast, Mitra. When you wake, you will find your mace has been… improved”.

A massive, rumbling chuckle rolls over and through Creel, who passes out again.

Bring Down Balentyne! part 2
Timetable for Carnage

Day 5 sees Fitch fruitlessly staking out the Mott house. Mrs Mott's gentleman caller does not arrive. Midway through the afternoon Mott leaves – he was home all that time!

Days 6-8 see our villains on a nice relaxing trip in the countryside. Picking up Grumblejack along the way they reach Varning's favoured camping spot early and conceal themselves behind the illusion of a rock wall.

Varning is rarely found off his horse and out of full plate armour, but one of these rare occasions would be when he is asleep on his bedroll under the stars. The rangers are on known ground, have seen no sign of enemies on their patrol, and are not aware of any ongoing threat. They've set a minimum watch of one sentry in armour.

The vilains' plan to sneak up on the sentry does not go perfectly. They get into position under cover of a silence spell, but Creel fails a "stand still and don't make any noise" stealth check while waiting for the sentry to be in ambushing position. A stone moves under his foot and the sentry, somewhat suspicious, comes to check it out.

A wave of crushing boredom overtakes him however, and he loses any interest in raising the alarm or shooting an arrow at them. Sam has learned a new spell! The hapless sentry is quickly and efficently killed by Adelea, but an armed man in a mail shirt falling heavily to the ground after taking a brutal sword blow does make a bit of noise.

A couple of rangers wake from their sleep and start raising the alarm, but unarmoured, confused, and from a prone start the patrol does not give a good account of itself. The Oppressive Boredom spell claims another ranger, who suddenly really can't be bothered with knots today and just stands looking huffily at the hobble on his horse until he's cut down.

Varning does little better than his men, although he does at least manage to draw his greased longsword (not a euphemism) before being cut down.

Adelea gets mildly annoyed at Creel for poaching the ranger she was killing: "Sorry, I was just testing this new mace".

After the fight they loot Varning and the rangers, and decide to kill some of the horses and release the others close to the fort, in the hope that returning with empty saddles they will cause confusion.

Out in the backcountry as they are, Adelea successfully locates some stew ingredients – highly dangerous 'destroying angel' mushrooms. Mmm, poisony!

They get back to town very late on day 8

On day 9 they frame the dwarfs for stealing bits and pieces from the castle, then Sam strikes up conversation with some guards, persuades them that "everybody knows dwarfs are untrustworthy thieving gits" and, after a few more drinks, that they should storm the dwarfs' room and search it for evidence. "Evidence" is indeed found, having been freshly planted.

A loud drunken shouting match ensues between guards and dwarfs with anger on both sides. All it takes is Fitch's peculiar inverse genius for people skills to light the blue touchpaper. Attempting to calm things down, with someone whose name might sound a bit like Crackariah Zeal shouting "let's not get short with each other!" from the back of the growing crowd, Fitch throws in enough heightism and arrogance that the incensed Eisenbauch throws a punch!

It misses, but Fitch does an excellent job of selling it, reeling backwards (and safely out of the fight), clutching his face. As he eels out, Adelea wades in, throwing punches with glee and enthusiasm. She is later spotted wearing a black eye and a deeply satisfied grin. A wild bar brawl ensues which makes a mess of the common room and of several guards. Eventually a patrol from the castle breaks it up and the dwarfs are marched off, as are (separately) some of the instigators

Our villains take the opportunity to sneak off into the secret tunnel for the night. They intend to skulk until the play begins, then use the opportunity to murder Mad Martin the raven herder.

Bring Down Balentyne! part 1
30 days and counting

There are approximately 14 days until the Bugbear army is in position, and roughly 30 to the point where infighting begins to make them noticeably less effective.

Day 1: Wednesday

Sam has a chat with Fitch: Fitch my dear, you have many talents and we are going to need all of them…

…but talking to people isn't one of them. You managed to insult Fire Axe and you nearly started a fight.

“I'm highly skilled in the arts of diplomacy”

You're not. You're really really really not.

“Liaise with the locals, check”

No, don't do that.

“shall I talk to the dwarfs then?” NO

Fitch successfully follows Barhold to the cellar unseen and unheard, and sees him open a secret door in the cellar. Hiding, he sees Barhold return with some pilfered bottles of expensive elven wine.

Day 2

“shall I go and mingle with the locals and see what information we can find?”

what do you think?


Fuck you. You're on you're own.

Sam and Fitch head to the alchemist's shop. "Thank goodness you're in, we've got a terrible problem. Our pigs have ome down with some kind of blight. I need to destroy them, to stop it spreading. We've got the healthy ones separated."

The alchemist is surprised that a pig farm with an unheard of 600 head of pigs can be in the area without him having had any inkling of it, but Sam is, as ever, persuasive. 400 pigs are apparently sick, but the only poison the alchemist has suitable for an amateur is arsenic, which is used for rat poison. He agrees to sell his entire stock for 250 GP, which he is confident will kill 200 pigs. The others? Maybe hit them all with a sledgehammer, drive them off a cliff, herd them into a derelict barn and burn it? The alchemist is no expert on pig murder, but tries to offer helpful suggestions.

The play is due to be performed in 8 days. Creel has a satisfying conversation with a guard, and finds that it will be a command performance in the castle hall, with all the castle leadership there and as many guards as can be spared from guard duties. It's the famous William Marcus Marlowe, the Bard of Barrington, and his company "ye Merrie Men". The guard is desperately hoping he won't draw the short straw and be on duty.

Sam is staking out the Mott house, but sees nothing untoward.

That evening in the pub, Sam sets up a drinking competition between Eisenbach, Zachariah Creel, and Adelea. Some (perhaps exploitable) tension is detected between the local drinkers and the dwarfs, and Eisenbach appears to be something of a fighting drunk, but first Creel and then Sam smooth things over for now.

Creel comes a creditable second in the drinking game, and takes Eisenbach almost to the wire before throwing up helplessly on the floor, where Adelea's mess has barely been cleared up. Sam and Fitch take the two contestants to their room to sleep it off. While the dwarfs were distracted by the drinking contest Sam has had Fitch burgle Eisenbach's room, and has made a copy of the map Fitch found there. The party now has a creditable map of the tower.

Day 3

Hangovers are kicking in. Adelea curses Sam's name loudly, while Creel hisses at her to keep the noise down while occasionally retching into a bucket. He swears off dwarven spirits for “at least a week”. Except maybe one hair of the dog?

Grumblejack is bored but Sam talks him into being patient for a few days, then they can kill a patrol.

Fitch stakes out Mott's house successfully, but sees nothing unusual.

Evening of day 3 they check out the tunnel. Unarmoured so they make less noise. Sam however makes an absolute shambles of being quiet, is caught wandering the darkened inn by the suspicious innkeeper, and is sent back to her room, quietly swearing vengeance. The others, having made it to the cellar, investigate the passageway without her and find it leads to a little-used storeoom in a vault beneath the tower. They have a secret way in!

Fitch stealths through the tower and finds a strongly locked room at the top. Could this be the rookery? Creel suggests watching to see whether birds fly in and out of the top of the tower.

Day 4.

Fitch stakes out Mott's house again and sees the pretty young Mrs Mott being visited by captain Eddarley. He sneaks up to the window and sees that they are up to shenanigans inside! The party resolve to tip Mott off next time.

Sam picks up her new staff and it is everything she was hoping for.

Varning's patrol comes back to the castle, and are likely to head off again in a few days.

Sam is keen on elimiating the ravens although there is some concern this will arouse suspicion: “what are they going to do about it? Are they going to send a bird to get more birds?”

Why are they bothered about the birds? “those let them call for reinforcements. No birds, no reinforcements. They'll have a raven keeper dude, maybe we can make it look like he went mad and killed them and jumped out the tower. The play would be a good time”.

“we could poison the ravens and frame the actors?”

The evening of day 4 is spent in conversation in the inn, picking up more rumours. Sam does a particularly fine job of charming information on the garrison from a group of off duty guards.

Barnabus Eisenbach leads a group of 10 dwarven engineers on a long term project to survey the watchtower and make any necessary repairs. During any conflict his crack engineers would man siege engines and fire crossbows from the walls. They are quartered at the inn as there is no room at the castle.

Captain Samual Barhold is the most senior of the captains. Captain Barhold is a craggy-faced veteran watchman
who frst joined the guard when he lied about his age and
became a soldier at age 14. That was twenty years ago.
Today, he stands on the cusp of middle age certain that he
will spend the rest of his life guarding this wall. He is deeply respected by the rank and file.

Unlike the other 3 captains, Barhold has no house in town.

Captain of the halberdiers, Franz Mott is a gruff, humourless man who is hard to like. Captain Mott has a house in town (with his wife Kaitlyn) and so his quarters are rarely occupied except in emergencies. He is known to be expert with the halberd. He is also known, although only by our villains, to be a cuckold.

Zack Eddarley captains the archers, and is the tower's resident gallant. He has been comforting Kaitlyn Mott while her husband has been busy with his duties. He's known to be a skilled and deadly shot with his composite longbow.

Rumours from the townsfolk say  that Father Donnagin was sent here
after the church demoted him from bishop. He
got into some sort of trouble – serious trouble I’d
wager to be banished to the Watch Wall.  - On the other hand the guards the party have spoken to seem to respect and even love the cleric, who is perpetually cheerful and seems to be the heart and soul of the garrison. 

Captain Ryan Varning is rarely found out of full plate armour and off the back of his warhorse, Varlet. Skilled with lance, sword, and bow, he leads the castle's rangers and is often to be found leading six men on patrol. The castle used to send out more patrols, but things have been very quiet since Varning put his lance through the chest of the last bandit leader in the area.

Tacitus of Morimun. The guard mutters darkly that the wizard is a recluse with a poor reputation and might be getting up to all sorts in his tower.

Lord Thomas Havelyn is the Commander of the garrison.


Fire Axe: Part Three
They meet Fire Axe

As the boat glides towards the rickety pier the villains have a hushed conversation.

Adelea do we necessarily want to kill Odenkirk?

Samra'el Yes!

Fitch Our boss wants us to, we got told to.

A but we'll have a boat with a captain who owes us

S no. Kill him and take his stuff. I have a plan. If we can get him to fight the bugbears then it's our chance to take him out! he hits like a truck with that axe, this is our chance to not take him in a fair fight, ambush him when he's busy.

Fitch We can't kill him yet, do you know how to make this boat go? How about you employ your diplomatic prowess? Can we see if we can get the boat to its destination and just kill him in his sleep?

Fitch is confused. He asks Odenkirk if everyone knows where the secret landing spot across the lake is, and Odenkirk carefully explains to him that no, it's a secret landing spot and he is the one who knows it.

Fitch then asks the group if anyone knows where they were supposed to deliver the weapons. They look from him, to the pier, to the assembled throng of bugbears, to him again. Yes, they're delivering the weapons here. Adelea explains to Fitch that when Sam told the patrol boat they were delivering weapons to the wall that was something called a "lie". 

The approaching bugbears seem minded to storm the boat and eat the squishy humans. Sam is disappointed to find she can't manouevre Odenkirk into fighting the bugbears himself, but he is adamant that this sort of thing is why the party are along. She then, in a virtuoso act of diplomacy, persuades the bugbears they are delivering weapons for Sakkarot, and that Sakkarot would be annoyed if they ate any of the party. Yes, even Fitch.

Three of the bugbears act as bouncers, while the fourth runs off to fetch Sakkarot.

Have they actually got buildings here or tents? Tents

I'll say it's tense, there's thousands of bugbears!

Sakkarot is a huge, dark-furred bugbear in a breastplate, and he is indeed carrying a flaming axe. There is a glint of intelligence in his eyes, and he speaks common without an accent. He arranges for the weapons to be passed out to the bugbears, and they soon transform from a rabble into a well-armed fighting force.

After a barbarous feast in their honour Sakkarot invites the villains to his quarters for a quiet chat. Sam wins him over by telling Fitch not to patronise him. Sakkarot rolls his eyes at Fitch, says “me heap big chief ug ug” then continues to talk urbanely to Samra'el.

He doesn't get much conversation in his day to day and, glutted on roast boar and rot gut, seems in an expansive mood. He questions the villains on their origins, and when shown a Branderscar brand, shows a brand of Asmodeus on his own chest. "We all have our scars"

The party are a little cagey about exactly how deep they are in Thorn's schemes, and perhaps sensing this it seems Sakkarot holds back a little himself. However he does tell them he has heard Thorn wasn't always called Thorn, and might have once been high in the priesthood of Mitra.

Sakkarot is delighted by the "mace fell into the sea" story and laughingly repeats "twenty four tons of weaponry and there wasn't a single mace on board!". He arranges for a lackey to find a discarded stone mace from a pile of weaponry abandoned in favour of steel.

He tells the villains they have a month to bring down the impregnable fortress Balentyne and gives them a signal rocket to fire to launch the assault.


Odenkirk is glad to get clear of the bugbear camp and quickly takes the party to a hidden cove, which is a couple of hours walk from Tower Balentyne and the nearby small town of Aldencross.

As they are just about to ground the boat Sam signals the party and strikes! Despite his more than half-expecting this, Sam is just subtle enough and Captain Odenkirk is taken by surprise.

She demoralises him: "Your greed is only exceeded by your stupidity. You have displeased Thorn you have displeased me and now you will pay!". This intimidation is extremely effective.

Adelea mutters "actually I think your stupidity exceeds your greed" but in this instance her remark is more cutting than her sword.

Fitch plants a thrown dagger in Odenkirk's back.

Sam greases his greataxe, which slides right out of his hands. Suddenly he is unarmed. She shouts to the sailors 

You. Can't you see your captain is a traitor? Four of you perished on the journey.

He did not bat an eye. he only wanted to increase his share of the fee. Join us. or die

Odenkirk, frothing at the mouth and screaming that he killed his own brother to get this ship and that no-one will take it from him, fails to pick up his greasy greataxe, swings a wild punch at Adelea and misses.

He goes down under a hail of blows, finished by an arrow from one of his own sailors. The two remaining sailors, promised the ship for themselves, end up sharing the burning ship with Odenkirk as a communal pyre. In the secluded cove the fire goes unseen.

You are close now. Just a few miles from here sits the
small market town of Aldencross and less than a mile from
there is the watchtower of Balentyne – your goal. Already
Sakkarot’s horde gathers and prepares to move. Within
two weeks, they will be in a small valley north of the lake
awaiting your signal. Fire the rocket into the air at just
the right moment and you will take the frst step towards
claiming vengeance against Talingarde.
Destiny has taken you here. Destiny has given you a
mission. There is no doubt that the future of this green
and pleasant land lies in your hands. You could go to that
town right now and warn them of the plots of the sinister
Cardinal Thorn. You could give yourself up and face the
justice you deserve. You could turn back from the horror
and the slaughter that you are going to inflict upon these
Mitran sheep. This is that moment. This is the turning
point. Afer this, there is no going back. Any one eager
for redemption?

I thought not. Come, my friends. We have work to do.
We must burn Balentyne.


In the morning Sam persuades Grumblejack to stay at their supply cache while the party infiltrate the town. He agrees to stay for a while and to keep out of sight.

"A town! Let's go shopping!!"

Flush with Odenkirk's gold the party stock up on supplies and magically enhanced weapons and shields. Shopping is fun. They obtain a room at the one tavern in town, and repair to the bar to buy people drinks and listen to gossip. They hear the following:

Prisoners escaped from Branderscar (!!)

A raven arrived at the rookery – its important.

Captain Mott is a captain – there are 4 of them

Thomas Havelin is the lord commander – he's well 'ard

Posters – play coming to town – Marcus Marlowe – fall of amberline. Command performance to guards in tower.

Belham Barhold – pub owner – enjoys wine – cant get good stuff.

100 soldiers in Balentyne

Captain Varning on patrol with 6 men

Mama Giuseppe's beef stew – Mondays – goes to fort. (got vague directions to her house)

Bugbears amassing to the north – no shit.

Lords dalliance was a brothel – secret passage in basement to tower.

Fitch almost gets into a bar fight through sounding sarcastic at the wrong moment, but just about wriggles out of it. The party retire to their beds after a good days' work.

Fire Axe: Part Two
They still haven't encountered Fire Axe.

The boat sails ever onwards towards the frozen North. Odenkirk claims the boat is running low on water and says he intends to put in at Seal Isle. While there he intends to take a boat and go seal hunting in the richest fur seal hunting grounds in Talingarde. The party are free to take the other boat and do some hunting of their own.


On the first day Odenkirk claims 3 seals. The party catch precisely none. On the second day Kargeld does slightly worse, claiming a further two pelts. Each of these glossy furs is worth 50GP so this is turning into a fruitful stop for the captain. Impressively, the party manage to double their own haul on the second day, despite Sam being very emo about being in the boat at all and passive-aggressively reading a book.


On the third day they become the hunted rather than the hunters. This hunting ground is so rich because most hunters avoid it. A mated pair of bunyips hunt these waters. The first Kargeld knows about it is when they come up below his boat, rocking it and nearly capsizing it. The captain's skills are up to the challenge however, and he manages to steady the boat.


One of the bunyips roars, a supernaturally loud and horrifying noise. Sam, having recognised the bunyips from a brief glimpse as they bumped Odenkirk's boat, had just enough time to warn the party to cover their ears, however this gives very limited protection and Grumblejack, Fitch, and Adelea are all panicked, cowering in the bottom of the boat unable to act. Without enough rowers the boat drifts in confusion.


Over in captain Odenkirk's boat one of the sailors has been panicked into jumping into the freezing water. He tries to swim away but is soon overpowered and killed by a bunyip, with the blood in the water driving them into a frenzy. Odenkirk is within axe range through, and his axe, with some help from the short bows of his remaining men, kills the bunyip. In the other boat Sam has managed to be intimidating enough towards Adelea that she seems to be getting hold of herself again.


Another roar echoes across the icy bay and this time another sailor and Adelea both leap into the sea in panic. Sam is the only person on the party's boat who isn't cowering in the bottom or trying to flee through the freezing water.


Odenkirk gets his two sailors to beach their boat so they can get safely ashore, while Sam uses her last rope trick scroll to securely attach Adelea to the boat. Her powerful, terrified swimming starts slowly dragging it through the water while Fitch, Grumblejack, and now Creel rock uselessly in the gunwhales with their faces covered in tears and snotters.


After a surprising number of unsuccessful attempts the bunyip kils the fleeing sailor. It takes the corpses beneath the waves and swims off, now mateless. Soon enough the party calm down and Adelea is helped back into the boat.


With the Frosthamar now down to three crewmen plus Odenkirk our villains are now doing more of the less skilled sailoring tasks aboard. The boat continues northwards, with any further seal hunting abandoned.


A party of Yutak are encountered, and our villains choose to trade honestly and talk politely with them. The Yutak happily exchange 1500GP of walrus ivory and a rare and perfect eight foot narwhal horn worth 2000GP for the trident taken from Nerianus and a handful of assorted metal weapons. Both sides of the trade are pleased. The medicine man, as the best speaker of common, warns the party of “the laughing storm”, a capricious ice mephit known to haunt the seas ahead. He also tells a tale of the Lost Island of Taane-Thak or “She without Mercy”, an ice giant sorceress and her followers who were apparently trapped as ice statues generations ago by a wizard.



As they continue into the North they do indeed encounter Killiketz, the ice mephit. Perched on the mast he is impossible to spot in the storm but Fitch is able to locate him through the sound of his laughter, and Samra'el is able to shine her bullseye lantern on him. Another of the Frosthamar's crew falls to the ice elementals that accompany Killiketz before the mephit is driven away with bolts (of both the fire and crossbow variety), just before Fitch can reach it after climbing heroically up the icy rigging and using his rogueish reflexes to avoid a blast of icy breath. Is it possible that our villains were slightly slow to act to save the sailor, and perhaps even did futher damage to his dying body while moving to engage the last elemental? Surely not – Samra'el's condolences to Kargeld certainly seem sincere enough.


At the mouth of the mighty Taiga river Kargeld earns his pay, steering his ship unerringly through fields of floating, jagged ice with the two remaining crewmen and our villains scrambling to obey his barked commands. The ship moves South up the river through snowy pinewoods, passing through a great cleft in the mountains, and finally reaches Lake Tarik, the inland sea at the centre of the island. Nearby, in a wooded valley, there is a great camp of bugbears. Far more are here than would normally gather, as they are generally a rather fractious race. There are also polar bears wandering the camp, and the party sees the odd fur-clad cackling goblin amongst the bugbears, and even the occasional hill giant on the outskirts.


The Frosthamar glides towards the only landing, a rickety-looking pier. However, this is occupied by four bugbear warriors and they don't look friendly.


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